Mirko Fabian

Photo by MART PRODUCTION from Pexels

Fake Language


I’m going to talk about the feeling of living with the wrong language that doesn’t feel right to you. When you believe the language you get up with isn’t meant to be “yours”. Of course, a language is also tied to its country, so I’m also talking about what it’s like to feel foreign in “your country”. 

This article shall give everyone an idea about that topic since the majority wouldn’t ever think about that. For that matter, I’m referring to the German language. 

What it’s like to ‘live’ in the wrong language

Do you know the feeling when something is just off? When you watch a movie or listen to a song and something doesn’t feel right? It’s sometimes a feeling of foreigners that comes along with it. 

If you speak two languages and you feel more drawn towards your secondary language you might come to a point when you wonder what “feels right.” Which language is truly “yours”? The one you enjoy living in, the one that makes you feel more comfortable than the other. 

I believe when some people speak two languages (or more) we feel more confident in one language over the other. It doesn’t necessarily have to be the mother tongue. When we feel more drawn towards our secondary language, we certainly lose connection to our first one. I experienced this as a massive change, feeling more comfortable, freer, and more confident. In my opinion, the language we choose life in is a very crucial part of our personality.

Photo by Timur Weber: from Pexels

But not everyone is open and tolerant when someone is not like everyone else. The drawback is that not all people are that understanding when you prefer a different language, especially when the language is rarely spoken in the country you live in. This holds you back from unfolding your personality the way you’d like to. It’s like being imprisoned in the country that’s supposed to be your home. So you do everything to live as much as possible in the language of your choice. Even when it means isolating yourself from the rest of the people. Watching movies, tv shows, and listening to songs in your favored language. Reading, googling, and writing as much as possible. 

You feel other people are privileged because they live in the country where the language of your choice is actually spoken. The growing desire of getting out of the place where you feel mistreated and misunderstood becomes your highest priority. 

There’ll come a moment when the content in your first language seems foreign to you. Still understand the language of course but it feels more like a second language rather than your mother tongue. This is when you accepted the language of your choice subconsciously as your primary language. Tho it still takes more time to fully adapt to it when you start dreaming in your language. It’s a process that takes time and will come by itself without much effort.

We grow up with a certain language and for many people, it’s nothing special. It’s where they feel at home and comfortable. Maybe learning a second language aside. That’s considered to be ‘normal’, but not everyone feels the same. Being different is never easy and oftentimes comes along with discrimination, intolerance, and misunderstanding. 

Being different

Living in the wrong country, speaking the wrong language. This goes to everyone who feels different, everyone who feels foreign in the country they’re born in and living right now. We can’t choose where we’ve been born and grew up, and we can’t choose our native language but we can choose where we live.

Speaking “the wrong language” might take us the confidence to speak, but all this shouldn’t stop us from being who we truly are. Society wants us to be more like everyone else, to blend in. Saying we have to live and behave like everyone else in that country. It’s almost like the clichés of that certain country.

We won’t ever be like everyone else because we’ve never meant to be. We’ve never meant to be there, live there, and speak that language. That’s what makes us unique. We can be proud of ourselves for who we are, and it’s not a shame to show it, showing we’re different. Follow your heart, live YOUR LIFE, not the life others want you to live.

Photo by Markus Spiske from Pexels

True nationality isn’t defined by a piece of paper or plastic, it’s not what people say we are, and it’s not the place we were born and grew up. Our true nationality is what’s in our hearts, it’s what we feel where we belong. It’s the language we chose to be more comfortable with, that gives us a feeling our native language could never give us.

Be different, it’s okay to be different, enjoy and, stand for who you are because YOU are RIGHT! Don’t ever forget that or let people say something different than what I’m saying. We’re not defined by other people or any piece of paper, we are who we feel we are.

No matter how many people from the country that was supposed to be called “home” I meet, I’m probably the only one who prefers English over the language of that country. I feel so much better, but most importantly I feel so much more like myself. Preferring a different language than the one spoken in the country puts you in a situation that’s not comfortable. People don’t understand why you chose a “foreign language” to claim as yours.

But that’s why I created this article and this blog, to share this feeling since I’m not alone.

Languages and Confidence

There was this moment I realized … the language I spoke for years, the one I grew up with has become as foreign as it could be. This is not me when I’m speaking that language. It’s a foreign language I understand but rejects it because it feels not right. 

Some people lack confidence when speaking a different language other than their mother tongue. Then there are people who seem to feel more comfortable speaking a different language. 

Photo by Pressmaster: from Pexels

Can you relate?

Do you find yourself in the following points? If so you know exactly what this article is about and how it feels. If not, it gives you a better understanding of the people who are … different in that matter.

Drawn to another language

“When you’re drawn to a different language than you’re native one and you come to that moment when you actually have to use it and think “I’m finally allowed to speak” you certainly found the language that’s supposed to be called your language. 

“We can’t choose where we were born, we can’t choose our first language, but we can choose both ‘our’ country and language“. Don’t let anyone ever tell you something else. They have no right to judge you because you’re different. Not everyone has an easy start in life, feeling comfortable in the country they were born in and speaking the language they grew up with. 

Being drawn to something different, a different country, and/or language should be considered normal in the 21st century. 

Photo by Porapak Apichodilok from Pixels

About love and dating

Love is a language by itself but when it comes to dating and relationships communication is key. When you don’t feel comfortable enough in your native language to ask somebody out, it might be the opposite in your chosen language. Being in the wrong country might lead to a feeling of missing out in terms of dating. But seeking a relationship only for the sake of not being alone is only going to hold you back and hurt you in the long run.

Photo by Tirachard Kumtanom from Pexels

I came to the point even ten years ago that the language we use for dating and in our relationships influences our confidence. I always thought that dating in my native language is awkward, pressuring, and anything but confident. Of course, it’s just my opinion, but even today I’m holding on to this belief. To me, English feels so much easier, lighter, and more confident when talking about what I think and feel.

Dating when you do feel not confident and hesitate to speak up doesn’t really make sense. Like everything in life, it simply has to “feel right”. Don’t beat yourself up when you prefer another language in your personal (and professional) life. Celebrate your diversity and wait for the right opportunity. Believe that what’s meant to be will come together at the right time.


Message bind this article

What everyone needs to understand and I see this as one of my missions, is that there are people who are different. Feel foreign in the country they were born and grew up in. Preferring a different language, wanting to leave the country to be able to find peace. To me living in the wrong country brought me to the edge of depression and desperation. Not once but many times. It’s like being imprisoned. Not being able to actually live a life you desire and strive for. That’s what #ProjectWrongCountry is made for, spreading awareness to the people who do feel not at home in the country they were born.

Everything should have the right to live in a country where they can express themselves and evolve as individuals. If you can refer to this blog article, remember that you’re not alone and that you have the right to feel that way. Be proud of who you are. Be proud to be unique. Spread this message of diversity, hope, and peace.

Final thoughts

Everyone chooses the language they are most comfortable with. It doesn’t necessarily has to be our mother tongue. Sometimes we identify with a different language better, that gives us what we’re looking for.
It should be more commonly known and accepted in society that some people prefer a different language over the one spoken since childhood. That’s what makes every one of us unique.

Language is also a part of our identity, which means that nobody has the right to judge us for what language we choose to speak. 

Mirko Fabian

Self-educated creative problem solver and entrepreneur. Writing about personal development, self-education, photography & filmmaking.

#ProjectWrongCountry #WrongCountry #language #bilingual #personality #nationality #NationalIdentity #beyourself #bedifferent #freedom #nationality #home #homecountry #feelingforeign #bethediffrence #feeldifferent #nationalityisaheartthing

You may also read ...